I apologize for my absence but I was drowning in the Migraine Tsunami that appeared, like they do, from out of nowhere. As I walked up the stairs from the kitchen bringing my tray of tea to bed to begin my day this morning, I realized how fabulous I feel and it occurs to me the pain-thing is like a hurricane, this one being a class 5.
First comes the dread as you see/feel it coming over the horizon, just the beginnings of the wind/pain/nausea and the darkness in the distance portending the catastrophe to come, and you know there is nowhere to go for escape. If you’re lucky and have enough warning you can lay in supplies (medications and soda) and batten the hatches (put down clean linens and close all the shutters and drapes, turn off the telephone).
Then you can see nothing but the pain as it crashes in on you, the intensity of it driving you into a darkness so intense there is no escape, just the desire to curl up and find that one sweet spot where the storm is less, the lighting just missing instead of striking you straight on. You lose the time, the days; they are simply gone as if you were dead for that spot of time.
Coming out it is like the devastation you see on CNN, the houses, trees, and boats tossed about like kindling. You are so very tired, sore, and stiff and you have lost the time. The day still has an unreal quality like the aftermath of any disaster and you walk slowly and softly in fear that this was only the eye and there is more to come.
Then you have today, oh joy and rapture, when you wake and you are yourself again. I used to feel the most difficult part was the recovery – getting back up off the matt one more time like Rocky in the last round; but now I find I have settled it with myself. It is something that happens to me. It is unpleasant and frustrating, but it is my lot and how I handle it, not the situation itself, will determine my karma. So today my lovely readers I am spry and sassy, ready to make trouble and stir up the Universe. Sometimes I think I can judge the intensity of the pain by how relieved I am when it’s over – did I mention I feel positively giddy?
That’s it then, back to the laptop. Write that book, so we all can find out what happens… Ah there are some new diggings in front of the Oudayas. I will take out the camera tomorrow and explore.