It’s good to know that it’s still a world that can cheer me up. I’m not used to being depressed, not even a bad mood; and yet I find myself in strange and uncomfortable waters – I’m depressed. Depression = can’t decide what to do to resolve a bad situation; it’s that simple and that difficult. I'm stuck. If I move do I hurt someone I love? If I stay still will I melt mentally?
But I took myself out today, under duress, because (part of the problems to be resolved is that every time I stick my head outside here in Houston, Texas [built on a swamp with temperatures in the 100’s and humidity in the 90’s] why? Why? Would you do that? Build a city here?] I get a migraine. Nasty ones, the kind that lay me out for days and require IV and IM and by mouth and all other orifices (yes, yuk) medications. My liver is thinking of setting up it’s own blog site.
I can’t exercise. I’ve gained some nasty weight that makes me uncomfortable. I can’t go out for a walk – not even at 0400hrs Q,, I tried it – it is still so hot and humid I cannot abide it enough to get out the door. I can’t go shopping because the stores are cutting down on the a/c – it’s cool, but not that old fashioned (pre economic crisis, global warming) a/c where you need a jacket. I can’t shop anywhere that’s not in the mall and enclosed because my American driver’s license expired while I was in Africa (admittedly I was in no great straits to get it renewed, thinking I would never need it again – you know, cabs, donkeys, camels, elephants…); and you guessed it I can’t go down to the Licensing Bureau where there is even LESS a/c to sit for HOURS to wait to take a written test in the heated room and then go out (duh in the heat) to take the mobile driving test. Screwed. Yes, a word. Sigh.
See? Depressed. Arghh. And I hate that because I’ve been about the world and the block enough to know I have no good reason to be depressed; my life is about as good as a life can get right now. I have, literally, the man of my dreams. My child is well. My stepchildren are well. My husband is all about spoiling me rotten. I’m getting lots and lots of sex. ☺ OH yeah baby, there are compensations to the heat. I have a wonderful new cat that I adore and he’s sweeter than I could have imagined and great company.
We are talking about sending me “north”, just far enough to be cool enough so that I can work! There are still people in the world who are so generous as to say, “Oh come on up. We have a bedroom and bath for you and bring the cat.” Can you believe that?! Well it shocked me a bit. I won’t mention her name as I’m not sure she would want me to do so, but boy I’m getting all sniffy just thinking about such kindness and generosity from someone I think is so very special.
At the mall, several nice men told me what a great hat I’m wearing. I found that soft wear program I’ve been looking for for years at Apple and they are going to check out my new MAC Pro on Thursday to see why the battery is not living up to specs; and I got a new reader for my blog in the sales girl Chelsea, who was kind and helpful.
At the Starbucks the young salesman flirted with me and made me feel special, and I found a hilarious talking shirt for J. Normally, as he well knows I don’t ‘approve’ of talking clothes, but in this case I’m making an exception. I shall quote it for you tomorrow.
However as I sit here sharing the table with the nice Starbucks person who is reading her employee pack and just informed me that Starbucks has a coffee in which they put a shot of Jim Beam (yuk), it is heating up. The sun is coming down through the glass ceiling and I feel my head making uh oh noises.
But I feel better. I do. I just thought I’d let you know some of what is going on, and that made me feel better too my lovely readers. I’m off to find a taxi and go home to hide from the heat.