Wednesday, 12 August 2009

"it's the [heat] stupid"

It’s good to know that it’s still a world that can cheer me up. I’m not used to being depressed, not even a bad mood; and yet I find myself in strange and uncomfortable waters – I’m depressed. Depression = can’t decide what to do to resolve a bad situation; it’s that simple and that difficult. I'm stuck. If I move do I hurt someone I love? If I stay still will I melt mentally?

But I took myself out today, under duress, because (part of the problems to be resolved is that every time I stick my head outside here in Houston, Texas [built on a swamp with temperatures in the 100’s and humidity in the 90’s] why? Why? Would you do that? Build a city here?] I get a migraine. Nasty ones, the kind that lay me out for days and require IV and IM and by mouth and all other orifices (yes, yuk) medications. My liver is thinking of setting up it’s own blog site.

I can’t exercise. I’ve gained some nasty weight that makes me uncomfortable. I can’t go out for a walk – not even at 0400hrs Q,, I tried it – it is still so hot and humid I cannot abide it enough to get out the door. I can’t go shopping because the stores are cutting down on the a/c – it’s cool, but not that old fashioned (pre economic crisis, global warming) a/c where you need a jacket. I can’t shop anywhere that’s not in the mall and enclosed because my American driver’s license expired while I was in Africa (admittedly I was in no great straits to get it renewed, thinking I would never need it again – you know, cabs, donkeys, camels, elephants…); and you guessed it I can’t go down to the Licensing Bureau where there is even LESS a/c to sit for HOURS to wait to take a written test in the heated room and then go out (duh in the heat) to take the mobile driving test. Screwed. Yes, a word. Sigh.

See? Depressed. Arghh. And I hate that because I’ve been about the world and the block enough to know I have no good reason to be depressed; my life is about as good as a life can get right now. I have, literally, the man of my dreams. My child is well. My stepchildren are well. My husband is all about spoiling me rotten. I’m getting lots and lots of sex. ☺ OH yeah baby, there are compensations to the heat. I have a wonderful new cat that I adore and he’s sweeter than I could have imagined and great company.

We are talking about sending me “north”, just far enough to be cool enough so that I can work! There are still people in the world who are so generous as to say, “Oh come on up. We have a bedroom and bath for you and bring the cat.” Can you believe that?! Well it shocked me a bit. I won’t mention her name as I’m not sure she would want me to do so, but boy I’m getting all sniffy just thinking about such kindness and generosity from someone I think is so very special.

At the mall, several nice men told me what a great hat I’m wearing. I found that soft wear program I’ve been looking for for years at Apple and they are going to check out my new MAC Pro on Thursday to see why the battery is not living up to specs; and I got a new reader for my blog in the sales girl Chelsea, who was kind and helpful.

At the Starbucks the young salesman flirted with me and made me feel special, and I found a hilarious talking shirt for J. Normally, as he well knows I don’t ‘approve’ of talking clothes, but in this case I’m making an exception. I shall quote it for you tomorrow.

However as I sit here sharing the table with the nice Starbucks person who is reading her employee pack and just informed me that Starbucks has a coffee in which they put a shot of Jim Beam (yuk), it is heating up. The sun is coming down through the glass ceiling and I feel my head making uh oh noises.

But I feel better. I do. I just thought I’d let you know some of what is going on, and that made me feel better too my lovely readers. I’m off to find a taxi and go home to hide from the heat.

Ciao

8 comments:

I Beatrice said...

It's very hot in Tuscany too - but oh how beautiful are the vistas, and the air!

And if the crickets keep me awake at nights I just tell myself it's a small, small price to pay for paradise.

Moannie said...

Humid heat is the worst, poor love, and no wonder you are getting migraines. How far north would you have to go for respite? Too far for J to commute, just until the worst is over...or is it never over in Texas?

And here is me looking forward to autumn when we have had a normal summer...lot of rain....some sun and about five really hot days. Ho hum!

Moannie said...

Humid heat is the worst, poor love, and no wonder you are getting migraines. How far north would you have to go for respite? Too far for J to commute, just until the worst is over...or is it never over in Texas?

And here is me looking forward to autumn when we have had a normal summer...lot of rain....some sun and about five really hot days. Ho hum!

sally in norfolk said...

sorry to hear your feeling down... I get that way too sometimes... but we just smile and get on with things :-)

so good to see good things happening in your life too x

Ian Lidster said...

Sweet, smart and lovely lady, I am so sorry to hear of your plight. Humidity devastates my moods as well and sends me plummeting into depression and migraine. See, we have more in common than you might think. I do hope you get some relief and soon. Hug.

James Higham said...

Come to England - the weather is lovely.

Mama Zen said...

Sounds like I need to get myself to Starbucks!

lady macleod said...

I Beatrice
Sounds to me like you have turned the heat into a blessing. Not a surprising turn of events knowing you.
Thank you for coming by.


Moannie
North or South eh? We considered Antartic! but Vancouver has a bit more civilization.. :-)
OH AUTUMN...sigh. The things we do for love eh?
Thank you for coming by.



Sally

Yes I am familiar with the British mantra of 'stiff upper lip' and worse yet I was reared with "stoic" as a matter of course. I hear you.
Thank you for coming by.


Ian
Thank you love. I am certain it is all a matter of feeling trapped. I feel as though any decision I make will hurt someone else - so...stuck! Arghh
And as my brilliant husband pointed out to me this morning - my wanderlust has been reined in and stuffed in a bag. I am used to taking up and going off to any and all parts of the world when and as I please. It is all so small when compared to "real" problems that it makes me feel small to complain.
thank you for the support and thank you for coming by.


james
Oh if only! But I have been asked to stay on the NA continent.
Thank you for coming by.


Mama Zen
yeahsureyoubetcha' baby!
Thank you for coming by.