I just have to say this..

Perhaps it's an 'age thing' but I don't really believe that. I'm sick of the Michael Jackson coverage! I can't watch CNN or even (gasp) FOX for the endless tributes. Yes, he was very talented. Yes he made a major impact on the music and culture scene. YES he was a troubled man who had a troubled interaction with young boys if not a proven pedophile, and I don't find that worthy of praise or note.

Why are we not talking about how that sickness affected his life and perhaps destroyed lives of those around him? Did he not use his money and fame to protect himself from punishment or help? Did he not pay off millions of dollars as hush money to various families of young boys?

I do not find this behavior worthy of praise and I resent having to turn off the news that I normally listen to in the morning while performing chores and instead have to sit and pick through the newspaper to find what ELSE is happening in the world. And yes, for me, his behavior overshadowed his talent and that I find sad, but none the less true. Not a popular view I'm sure, but there you have it.

Ciao

THis is too funny not to share...

This is from my sister-inlaw: This is a real video from a French documentary about Africa. You won't
understand a word (Not necessarily the case!), but the video is a hoot.

There are trees that grow in Africa which, once a year, produce very juicy
fruits that contain a large percentage of alcohol. Because there is a
shortage of water, as soon as the fruits are ripe, animals come there
to help protect themselves from the heat.

I love my readers....

I'm quite desperate to finish the ten articles I owe Powder Room (fantastic new web site) and my last few chapters of the book before the writer's conference in July! All while putting the new house in order, as well as the garden, getting back in shape, hiring a housekeeper, being a Mom and a Stepmother, and a kick ass wife! I need a nap!

AND I BROKE MY FOOT! ARhhhhhhhhhhh...

Ciao lovely readers.

Dear lovely readers,

Forgive my silence but my life has overtaken my keyboard! Today is the day before my wedding – my wedding to a man who I can say is my true love; and whom I find I love more now than I did the first time – and that surprises me no end! And yes there have been many comments as to the date – D Day, make of it what you will.

It proves my long held belief, that while there is evil in the world, there is also magic. I am a standing, walking, talking rebuttal of every statistic about a ‘woman my age’. I am 59 years old and as giddy as a schoolgirl. Kissing, hugging, touching, holding hands, touching his face, and all that other good stuff – oh my! Yeahsureyoubetcha’!

And I am terrified. Oh yes I am. I spent much of the morning with tears rolling down my face (and the humorous input of the new not-waterproof mascara giving me such a face as for a clown!) and J forced me to talk to him – smart man. I am terrified to have more people in my life to love. There is not just J, but his children D and S whom I already have come to love. Three more people for whom I (foolishly I admit) feel responsible – for their happiness, for their future, for their very lives. Because years ago the Universe gave me everything I wanted and then in the time it takes for a bullet to traverse three feet – it took it all away.

It took me years to be brave enough to love someone again; and then the Universe gave me my heart walking on two tiny feet – Q. And yes, I did and still do fear every single day that ‘something’ will happen to take her away from me. But that fear is so overshadowed by the overwhelming love I feel every time I see that face, or hear her voice, or call up a memory; it is of no moment.

And as my soon-to-be husband reminded me this morning I’m not such a coward that I will give away this wonderful chance for more people to love. I won’t. I will be afraid every day; but I will not give into that fear. I will not throw away love, and lust (wonderful stuff!), and laughter, and a future that looks like more fun than swimming with dolphins while blowing bubbles with fairy dust (paint your own picture).

I want to share this with you all. I want us all to reach every day for every bit of joy we can handle and then grab some more. It is amazing when you are well and truly happy; I find people come up to me, give me things, find an excuse to speak to me – it is because they sense that deep recess of humming joy and want to be near it.

I am so blessed. I am so grateful. I am grateful that the evil I have seen and the tragedy I have experienced have taught me to appreciate every moment, every ray of sunshine, and every touch of the breeze on my face, every hug, every kiss, every laugh.

And so yes, I will marry this wonderful, sexy, funny, smart man; and I will taste every moment of it with all my senses. I will allow him to pamper me, and hover over me, and worry about me. I will love his children and continue to love my own. I will cry when they have any upset or tragedy and I will rejoice when they have every accomplishment and joy.

Q is staying over for a week so I will be entertaining her and catching up on her life. I will try not to be so very long between posts. After that week it’s back to work for me! Boxes or no – I have a writer’s conference in July to be ready for and a deadline to meet for some articles. This being happy business takes up so much time she said grinning ear to ear.

Ciao!

not dead yet...

Packing up TWO apartments for the move on Saturday to the new house; getting over pneumonia; planning the wedding for Saturday after the move; planning a week's visit with Q; trying to co-ordinate all the changing of address to various sources, changing of name, changing of the time for losing my mind....planning a menu (THANK YOU SHERRI!) finding a photographer, what will I wear?; handling my own fear of loss of movement and freedom while listening to J's concerns; and fighting off the migraine monster; finding a florist...

All is well. Nothing but wonderful things to bitch about - as for the world - OMGods! Nancy Pelosi imploding, the new justice to be named to the Supreme Court; the loss of the Swat Valley and the encroaching hoard of Taliban on Islamabad and it's stash of nuclear weapons; the hideous and obvious further harrowing of Suu Kyi; the increasing battle in Washington D.C. between parties while ignoring the danger hot spots around the globe and internally; the upcoming writer's conference in July and my DEADLINE! So yes I'm gobsmacked but blissful; and how's your day going?

good advice

Summary Advice

1. Realize the value of the human body with which you have been endowed, for it is the result of many past good causes. Appreciate the fact that teachings are available and ready to be implemented.

2. Since this precious human life can be used in powerfully beneficial or destructive ways, and is itself most fragile, make good use of it now.

3. Physical happiness is just an occasional balance of elements in the body, not a deep harmony. Understand the temporary for what it is.

4. A tamed mind makes you peaceful, relaxed, and happy; whereas, if your mind is not peaceful and tamed, no matter how wonderful your external circumstances, you will be beset by frights and worries. Realize that the root of your own happiness and welfare rests with a peaceful and tamed mind. It is also a great benefit to those around you.

--from Mind of Clear Light: Advice on Living Well and Dying Consciously by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, translated and edited by Jeffrey Hopkins, Ph.D.

slow, painful, and frustrating

I have to tell you my recovery from "walking pneumonia" (why do they call it "walking" when they put you to bed?) is taking much longer than I would prefer and is not pleasant. I'm sore, short of breath, tired, and cranky - not my normal state. I promise to be back soon, and thank you for missing me. My friend sent me this photo and caption from her son today and I had to share - it had me laughing out loud.

From New Album 5/6/09 4:30 PM

Just click on the kitty.
Ciao