and that's why I can't come to work today

This is a writing prompt I did for Writer’s Digest after a particularly festive day of shopping in Fez: “and that’s why I can’t come to work today”. I hope it will give you a chuckle.

-and if you have not read my article on TopBlogMagazine please do so.


"You're not going to believe this, but when I sprang out of bed this morning anxious to be on my way to work, I tripped over the pile of carpets laid out on the floor for my inspection by Ali last evening from the “Everyone else has Shit” shop. I stretched up to the table and reached for my djellaba as it is forty degrees with no heat in the Villa. Shivering, I pulled it over my head. I was temporarily blinded, stepped forward, and I fell down; but I missed the pile of carpets and landed instead on the silver tea set sitting on the bronze table surrounded by the twenty crystal tea glasses set out by the chap from the "Shocking Prices" shop in the Medina. I managed to untangle myself just in time to miss being scalded by the green mint tea left on the bedside hand carved by tiny Berbers during a sand storm table left by the "Native Artist Selections" shop yesterday. I pulled myself erect and spotted my laptop buried under the pile of "best quality" scarves and shawls from the "These are all priceless antiques from Rabat" shop on Mohammad V Boulevard. Since the electricity was off again and the bathroom was flooded by a leak, I thought, "If I can only get to my laptop I will be able to get to work - even with dirty teeth and a pressing need to use the toilet." In the darkness (no lights remember) I made my way across the room bumping into the camel bone chest holding the two hundred pairs of earrings and necklaces with the hand of Fatima there for my protection from the "Everything Fifty Percent off just For You" shop. I fell forward, but managed to grab my laptop on the way to the freezing marble floor. I inched forward to the door, crawling over the miniature to life-size Tagines from the "Authentic and Lowest prices in Fez" shop. I felt certain of victory. I stood and stepped off the front stoop, where I was squashed by a camel caravan passing by on the way to the Sahara, and that's why I can't come to work today."