Reply comment to Ian

I'm posting my “reply” to two of Ian’s posts here because he got me all fired up and I just can’t see leaving this much material for his fans to roll through – so you get it my lovely readers, because you LIKE my stuff. In order to get the idea of what the devil she’s (that would be me) talking about you must first run over to Ian’s and read not only the first post but the one below – oh go ahead, you know you want to do it!

Yes, poor what's her name – not - (so much publicity - I didn't know she could sing until she gained "too much weight"). I thought she just went to events and dated the quarterback for Dallas. She's only a baby people, lay off.
Albeit I will say, as a woman who for most all of my life, and continuing apparently into my later decades, has had my family and friends saying, "Did you remember to eat today? How much do you weigh now?" (This is my DAUGHTER over the mobile now). And there is NO sympathy if you are a woman who forgets to eat when she's working, or just blissfully happy - so there! Take that whatever percent of the U.S. and Britain that is obese (some horrid number).
It is difficult for me, after years in Africa, India, and the Middle East (please take time to read the links), to conceive of countries where obesity is a national disease! It won't compute in my head.
Here's a diet for you - throw that money you were going to spend on food you don't need into a dish in the kitchen, and then send it to Heifer International (no pun, just my favorite most effective charity). You will be healthier and so will the rest of the planet – albeit all my readers are so beautiful they will put the money in the dish just to be lovely.

I do think I understand the obsession, not so much with the weight issue, but the celebrities, when there is so much fear right now, both politically and economically. In my own way I noticed myself using escapism last night – I am a news junkie. I usually read three books simultaneously because - I just do it that way, but I want to finish “The War Within” however last night I found myself reaching for a nice blow ‘em up in the Fantasy world with R.A. Salvatore’s “The Demon Spirit”. I think all of us seek some escape from the oppressive fear in the world just now – fine as long as we don’t leave our heads in the make-believe sand until we suffocate.

Breakfast? Oh please, I'm an Irish Oatmeal girl all the way; and it amazes me still that after 18 years of serving it up to Q, so is she! And um, you should see my cholesterol numbers! “Yep, yep, yep”, she said grinning ear to ear.

Ian, my love, don't say it's true! I ALWAYS dance and often - that's the true reason for owning an I Pod my sweet handsome man. I don't cook, but boy I can dance in the kitchen - fire up some Etta James, throw in some Bruce Springsteen, and top it off with a little Elmore James, and I'm moving baby. He he. Now let's see you move that handsome body around in some sheer joy! That’s what dancing and indeed singing should be about – sheer joy. No, I don’t sing in public, not one of my talents (sigh) but I can belt it out in my kitchen and shower baby. Make a joyful noise!

I MISS LENNY TOO. My TV IQ is so low that J is embarrassed and makes excuses for me, but I am a "Law and Order" girl, yessiryoubetcha', and I miss Jerry Orbach! What a great actor to watch. I was so lucky to see him on stage when he and I were both very young. “Law and Order” is my substitute for sleeping medication. I’ve seen every episode so many times (and it is so dependable) that I don’t have to actually watch or listen. I use it when I work as well; albeit the blow ‘em up movies work better for that – especially the ones with no real plot – think “The Kingdom” or “SWAT”. That Jamie Fox is such a cutie, and really very talented I think, and Colin Farrell – well he’s Irish.

TRUE WORDS you have spoken: NO ONE has arrived to replace Bogie, Tracy, or MItchum! More's the pity. Albeit I will say that George Clooney has done a fine job making me miss Carey Grant so much less.

And I don't want to know about the private lives of these people!! I can no longer watch any Tom Cruise movies (and I loved the “Mission Impossible” series - all those lovely explosions) – first his ridiculous antics, but that’s fine, the man said he was in love – but then the tirade against Brooke Shields and all other women who have experienced post-partum depression – THE MAN DOES NOT HAVE A UTERUS. If you don’t have a uterus, you do not get to speak to these matters. He did not graduate high school but he is an expert on psychiatry and psychiatric drugs? I don’t care if he is a bloody Druid as long as he does not use his celebrity to do harm, and I think he did harm. And he was mean to Matt Lauer! Who is mean to Matt Lauer?!! How do you even do that?
Then Mel Gibson (oh Kali, it’s so bad I blanked on his name and had to look up “Braveheart”) had to show himself as a bigot and fanatic of the nastiest nature! And I loved the job he did in “Braveheart”, and the fun movies with Danny Glover where they blew shit up and were really funny. So PLEASE if you are a horrid person and an actor, get a better press agent, show some control, or consider becoming a contributing member of the human race and make the planet a nicer place – you poop-heads! Grrrrr. Arghhhhh.

Ian has synesthesia. How cool is that! I see emotions in colours, but wow – numbers! I read somewhere Ian that means you are really brilliant (but we knew that didn’t we?). I, to some extent, hear music in colours as well, but I think that is the nature of the music rather than me.

Ian, love, get. The. Ticket. To. Russia. Now. You MUST go to the Hermitage! It is brilliant. So much Rembrandt as to make your head expand with the sheer beauty of it all! Go! Now. Hurry before Putin won’t let us in without nasty questioning. And just remember (ladies and gents) that incredible collection was put together by the brilliant Catherine during a time when Europe was ‘having some financial difficulties’. Talk about a bargain hunt!

Not an opera fan? Oh mercy I’m a real devotee, but you have other wonderful attributes Ian, and you went once! Well done there. Everyone should attend at least one opera for the experience - you don’t have to go again lovely readers, but you might….

I can’t get on board with you about the chickens! I hate chickens unless they are dead and basted. We had a flock when I was a girl, and it was my job to feed the &*^^%$$## little &&^%$%$. I went barefoot whenever the weather allowed, and sometimes when it did not, and no matter how far away I threw, or jaculated (from my book “The Highly Selective Thesaurus for the Extraordinarily Literate” no really!) the bloody feed, those horrid, nasty, mean, little f***ers pecked my toes! Every bloody time! Every time lovely readers! Really!

My musical talent lies in being an informed and appreciative audience, but I was so proud when at eighteen – Q decided to take up the violin. She has played the clarinet since she was ten or so, but the violin! I was so proud that she would take on such a challenge.

You are right Ian that, “10. I’ve always believed that if I’ve had a romantic interest in somebody that the other person feels the same way about me. In other words, they have given off vibes indicating they are approachable. I still believe from experience that is true about 80 percent of the time.” How could any woman in her right mind resist you? That would just be silly.

As we know, I am very “mystical”, but in a very logical way I think. Astrology, not so much, but String Theory? I’m right there with you chap. And “positive thinking” – oh please, the best nuclear weapon does not have a nano-fraction of the power of positive thinking when applied. I’m right there with you on this one.

Ian! “Borrowed a guy’s wife”? I’m not saying anything. I’m shaking my head, but I’m not talking because I do have some instances of theft in my past – but only from people who were bad.

“19. I don’t trust guys who part their hair down the middle. It shows an inability to commit.” OHMYGODS how brilliant is this statement?! This is one of those, “I wish I had written that.”

So there you have it – my comment to Ian’s posts.

I must go wash my hair as we are attending “A Bronx Tale” this afternoon – review to come of course.

Ciao