Wednesday, 8 August 2007

and that's why I can't come to work today

This is a writing prompt I did for Writer’s Digest after a particularly festive day of shopping in Fez: “and that’s why I can’t come to work today”. I hope it will give you a chuckle.

-and if you have not read my article on TopBlogMagazine please do so.

"You're not going to believe this, but when I sprang out of bed this morning anxious to be on my way to work, I tripped over the pile of carpets laid out on the floor for my inspection by Ali last evening from the “Everyone else has Shit” shop. I stretched up to the table and reached for my djellaba as it is forty degrees with no heat in the Villa. Shivering, I pulled it over my head. I was temporarily blinded, stepped forward, and I fell down; but I missed the pile of carpets and landed instead on the silver tea set sitting on the bronze table surrounded by the twenty crystal tea glasses set out by the chap from the "Shocking Prices" shop in the Medina. I managed to untangle myself just in time to miss being scalded by the green mint tea left on the bedside hand carved by tiny Berbers during a sand storm table left by the "Native Artist Selections" shop yesterday. I pulled myself erect and spotted my laptop buried under the pile of "best quality" scarves and shawls from the "These are all priceless antiques from Rabat" shop on Mohammad V Boulevard. Since the electricity was off again and the bathroom was flooded by a leak, I thought, "If I can only get to my laptop I will be able to get to work - even with dirty teeth and a pressing need to use the toilet." In the darkness (no lights remember) I made my way across the room bumping into the camel bone chest holding the two hundred pairs of earrings and necklaces with the hand of Fatima there for my protection from the "Everything Fifty Percent off just For You" shop. I fell forward, but managed to grab my laptop on the way to the freezing marble floor. I inched forward to the door, crawling over the miniature to life-size Tagines from the "Authentic and Lowest prices in Fez" shop. I felt certain of victory. I stood and stepped off the front stoop, where I was squashed by a camel caravan passing by on the way to the Sahara, and that's why I can't come to work today."


Maude Lynn said...

Indeed, I am chuckling!

lady macleod said...

Excellent! thank you for coming by.

Annie said...

Sounds like a typical morning in our house ha ha! Except everything I trip over originated at one point from Fisher Price ;)

Whispering Walls said...

very good!

jenny said...

Loved the article in topblogmag. Very true and I only hope when I am 60, I'll be just as adventureous as you are now! 'knock on wood!'

I certainly know those kinds of mornings where everything seems to go wrong, one after another! Very funny post Lady M!

Lady Latte said...

Wow, so many rewards. You are a skilled writer!! I just found your blogg today!

The closest I have been to Marocco is when interailing in the middle of the 80's, we came as far south in Spain as Algeciras. That is quite far when travelling from Sweden.

I'll be by again!

lady macleod said...


I remember those days!

thank you for coming by.

lady macleod said...


thank you!

and thank you for coming by.

lady macleod said...


I'm sure you will be no doubt. Thank you and thank you for coming by.

lady macleod said...

lady latte

Welcome! I am pleased you found me, and that you enjoyed the blog.

What a wonderful adventure your trip must have been. Are you in Sweden now?

I hope to see you again, and thank you for coming by.

Drunk Mummy said...

Lovely stuff, Lady M. If I ever have a shop, I'm going to call it 'Everyone Else Has Shit' - I like the subtle element of spin it incorporates!
Enjoyed the TopBlogMag post too, although personally I feel that I am going the other way. For me, 40 feels like the old 60.

Kim said...

Hilarious! You always put a smile on my face.

jmb said...

Great story, Lady Mac. Much better excuse than so many others I heard over the years.
Now why can't you hand your homework in?

KarenO said...

Since I had such great laugh, I won't berate you for not having a warning written at the top of your post: DON'T drink coffee while reading this post, your screen and keyboard might get wet! Thanks for a great start to my day :) and thanks too for the always warm and wonderfully inspiring comments you leave on my blog - you're amazing!

lady macleod said...

drunk mummy

thank you I'm pleased you enjoyed the post and article. I am sorry to hear that forty is feeling like sixty to you, oh dear. Perhaps a nice Merlot?

I think you could carry off the "Everyone Else has Shit" shop, in Knightsbridge of course.

thank you for coming by.

lady macleod said...


well that comment makes my day. thank you, and thank you for coming by.

lady macleod said...


thank you, and I may very well have to come up with that excuse if I don't get these two papers finished! yikes. I don't suppose, "I was blogging." will cut it eh?

thank you for coming by.

lady macleod said...


There you go, that is the effect I was going for. Thank you for the kind words, and thank you for coming by.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...


Welshcakes Limoncello said...

I just read your topblog article and it's wonderful. I have commented on there.