Monday, 12 January 2009

Grief and Gratitude

12 January 2009-01-11

Keeping my New Year’s pledge to myself - I’m here. I’m pooped, but I’m here. And I’m grateful really to be tired – that’s what I wish to speak about briefly, gratitude.

I’m sure you, as have I, have seen the news that the actor John Travolta recently lost his son. Now he is not the only parent this week, this month, that day even – to lose his child – but his is a public grief that reminds me of my blessings.

My child is healthy. My child is alive.

I have migraines. They interrupt my life with what seems like unbearable pain and they make me undependable to the people I love and who love me. But – I get better. I could go to the gym today. I did errands until I just couldn’t anymore, but I could do them.

My child loves me. Recently another love has returned to my life in what is nothing less than a miraculous story (as soon as I can Annie!). I have friends who are all relatively healthy and happy and who enrich my life.

I have joy. I have joy every day – in breathing, in loving, in walking, in existing. I am aware that there is more to the Universe than the physical world that I can see and touch. I am so grateful that I know that there is so much that I don’t know, still so much for me to discover. Books to read, plays to see, symphonies to hear, babies to hug.

We saw a lot of babies in New York City and I decided that every time a baby laughs it enhances the Universe, it cleans the air, it spreads joy. So go out and find a baby to smile at.



jenny said...

Yes, be grateful to be alive, to be able to see a baby smile and to be able to hug your child. As a parent myself, I cannot begin to imagine the grief of a lost child, but know it must be great. My heart goes out to those who know such loss, and I kiss my children and hold them that much closer.

May 2009 bring you many good things, friend, and I hope you have a lovely year. xo

I Beatrice said...

It was such a very pleasant surprise to receive a message from you this morning on my (now defunct) blog-site – and so I now return the compliment, by visiting you.

It’s clear that something very wonderful has happened in your life – and I don’t just mean your leaving Morocco to return to the US. Something very much more wonderful on a personal level has happened for you, it’s clear - I’m so happy for you, and feel sure you will tell us more about it, all in your own time.

On the tragedy of John Travolta’s son’s death, I have perhaps a rather sharper and more personal sadness than most.. Having an autistic grandson myself, and knowing what joy such children can bring in their own very different ways, it has grieved me deeply to know that the Travoltas’ adherence to Scientology prevented their acknowledging their own son’s autism.

I’m not suggesting that their state of denial contributed to his death – but only that it was nevertheless (to my eyes at least) a form of betrayal of the boy himself, and must have made his difficulties all the greater while he was alive...

For their own sakes though, I hope that perhaps their beliefs also prevent their seeing it in quite that light. To lose a child is tragedy enough, without having to feel that one was somehow oneself to blame for it.

All good wishes to you in your splendid new life!

Moannie said...

It is good to acknowledge what is right and good in our lives, thankyou for reminding me,I must get with it.

Wishing you well with whatever is giving you this new happiness.

Anna said...

Please tell us your news soon! These stories add vim to my own belief that I can start afresh!

scarlettscion said...

I Beatrice--

You may want to read my post on this matter:

No one except the child's parents and his doctors has access to his medical records or knows for sure what he was diagnosed with. As any doctor worth his salt will tell you, all this TV and Internet diagnosis of a medical condition is worthless without having personally examined the boy.

In addition to what I wrote in my post, I will say that there is a chance they took him to a Scientology doctor who may have been more predisposed to diagnose a different condition. But we don't and can't know.

lady macleod said...

And a lovely and joyous year to you friend.
Thank you for coming by.

I love it when you visit. You are correct that losing a child is more tragedy than anyone need bear, and yet...
Thank you for coming by.

Yes, I believe gratitude can make us even happier.
Thank you for coming by.

I will, I promise - and you are going to love it!
Thank you for coming by.

You are a bastion of good data - as usual

Ellee Seymour said...

I wanted to give my sons a hug too after reading about the death of John Travolta's son. A parent can never recover from such a terrible loss.